AN ONION A DAY
Monday, 14th May, 2007
AN ONION A DAY………..
History repeats itself, I know; but that soon! Usually it is for the next generation. Only in 1998, onions (and their ‘gold’ prices) caused a downfall of a popular government. What is happening to power in Delhi? Onions and their escalating prices every now and then are giving the governments the headaches rather frequently now.
And hey, there are already enough tears in common man’s eyes nowadays; do we need onions here! We must go into the root cause of this - the root of onions! Or the government should announce on a national broadcast that onions are not good for health and people should consume less of them - save onions like save water/petrol. Onions have vanished from the platters of salad bars that happily dwell on healthy cauliflower & co. now. You cannot argue with restaurant owners because green salad on their menu had always-been silent on onions; they never promised onions! The banquets booked for parties have been demanding Rs 10 per head more and their explanation is not illogical, ‘the rate was agreed upon before the onion hike, and the guests are expected to eat onions more - as never before’
There should be ‘onionex’ on the lines of ’sensex’ on a daily basis. I also like onions too much – TDS- three times a day; that my ‘interactors’ do not like the smell is a different matter. Now I have to carry them, one onion in each pocket, whatever that means and howsoever clumsy/revealing it may look, with a knife in my back-pocket-so that I can eat them with foods of my choice anywhere.
Then my wife applied her (available) mind and unknowingly tried to help her husband giving him an idea, "you carry peeled off bulbs of onions wrapped in foil instead of those round bodies" she suggested. I took her advice for a change. But then the whole of ME was smelling of onions; I had to announce every time - that this was a new perfume on the shelves with a vegetable fragrance!
Onionism has given a new agenda to Shiv Sena in Maharashtra “No onions from Pakistan”: because we don’t want to change our roots. Some people are not serving onions to their guests and politely say, "We want to practise Navratras for some more time". There have already been some reports of ransacking and robbing of onion stores. I remember when TV serials like Ramayana and Mahabharata were extremely popular, the invitation cards for marriages/receptions read, “Phere Mahabharata ke Baad” giving ample time to the guests to witness ‘both’ Mahabharatas! Now the cards will have, “Please bring/arrange your own onions, thank you”. And some invitation cards alongwith sweet boxes will have some carefully wrapped onions.
Tears are good for eyes, these are no crocodile tears; you’ve to believe an eye surgeon. And I must give you advice - an apple a day keeps the doctor away. An onion a day keeps everybody away.
