CAN WE CHANGE OUR LOOKS?

Yes, with nose jobs, breast implants and hair transplants too. With the introduction of the concept of reality television in India eight years ago, with shows like Hospital, Commando and more recently Indian Idol and Fame Gurukul, we could never have ever imagined that the trend would catch on in as big a way as it has. I recaIl one senior programming person, who is today an iconic figure in the media world, telling that reality would never work in India, as Indians had too much reality in their lives. Today, the biggest and most talked about shows across mainstream channels tend to be based on reality entertainment formats. And they’re starting to give soap operas a run for their money.

One of the most challenging projects in the reality space we’re now developing is a show based on the international format of Extreme Makeover. In this show, top surgeons and hospitals from across the country come together to help bring people who’ve been pushed to the fringes by serious physical problems, back into the mainstream.
The “makeover” is one of the classic tools we’ve used effectively on most of the reality-entertainment formats we’ve worked on in the past. In the context of present-day reality television, this is the process that transforms the popular, small-town boy or girl with a great voice into a youth icon. It’s not difficult to execute-new styling, a designer wardrobe, and new attitude.

But already, the simple “superficial” makeover is passé. Increasingly, young men and women are opting to go under the scalpel to change the way they look. Plastic surgery, which till recently was the exclusive domain of the big stars, corporate czars and the ultra-rich, is now well within the reach of the average middle class Indian. It’s fast becoming the mother of all cures for chronic insecurity. An insecurity that’s being fuelled to a large extent by media.

Glam magazines and celebrity television, with their excessive dependence on actors, socialites, mode and designers, have succeeded in creating an alternative world that millions young people now aspire to belong to. It’s a world that not only assumes you are rich, it’s also a world where what you wear isn’t as important as where or who you bought it from. A world where a well-dressed, under-nourished, under weight, 20-year-old female undergraduate is more likely to be successful, than a 35-year-old, slightly plump,
over-achieving mother of two. It’s a world that thrives on insecurity and big dreams and pushes those that want to be a part of it to the limit. In 30 years from today, technology would have re-defined those limits dramatically.

Nose jobs, breast implants, hair transplants and much more will be par for the course. Instead of exercise and a nutritious diet, a simple tummy tuck would become standard procedure to achieve that elusive flat stomach. With the same principle applicable to other parts of the anatomy, we will have millions of young people who look great, but are unhealthy and susceptible to disease.
Taking that chain of thought further, replacement of body parts by parts grown outside our bodies would probably be a reality. The quest for eternal youth and beauty will take on a completely new dimension.

As the balance of power shifts from the West to China and India in the East, the concept of beauty too will change.

Thirty years from now, the blonde, blue-eyed, fair-skinned ideal of today would possibly have shifted to a black-haired, dark-skinned, slit-eyed standard. The smart set in New York or Paris or London might be lining up to get the “Bollywood” or “Beijing” look.
http://www.bollywoodworld.com/
Scarily enough, the makeover process won’t be limited to adults.

With the pressure on our children to perform and excel at everything they do in a fiercely competitive world increasing day by day, it won’t be uncommon for them to be going under the scalpel in order to give them an advantage over their peers.

IDIOT BOX- HALL OF FAME

Switch on the TV & explore your chances to be famous. Each time I sit in front of the idiot box for my daily dose of entertainment, I find myself lost, baffled and wondering. Nope, I have not started watching the K soaps. Instead, I find myself caught in the web of channels creating or rather churning out celebrities each month, each week and sometimes even each episode.

Right from my help at home, my colleague and the aunt in neighbourhood to her five-year-old kid, all are busy signing autographs and talking endlessly about their feat. And here I am, munching on popcorns and flipping channels, figuring out their claim to fame. Is it because they were obese; had high BP and cholesterol levels? Or because they didn’t even know that “re” came before “sa” in the Sargam? Or nobody having briefed them on how to behave when in public? Or simply as they had enough money, time-and patience to SMS?

A few weeks back, we saw the grand finale of Biggest Loser Jeetaga. A rigorous exercise regime for 16 weeks on national television was required to teach the lesson of fitness to a bunch of obese adults. Today, the participants are fitter, richer and popular. At the same time, they have proved that they were ignorant of the health hazards till Suneil Shetty informed them. Also, they think shedding kilos on national TV is glam. Well, the winner who weighed close to 124.9 kg has lost 50.7 kg and gained Rs 50.7Iakh, after fighting against calories and competition.

Well, but we can’t really blame this handful for their greed for fame (or fitness). For, a few months back, we saw long forgotten actors and models on Bigg Boss, acting, crying, sweeping, cleaning, dancing, fighting, massaging et al, all for their share of fame, that they had failed to achieve in years (or decades). Now, these guys became (in) famous and made money too. But then, they would have perhaps gained more respect, had they stayed hidden wherever they were, than making fools’ out of themselves in the Bigg Boss mansion.

Back to the ordinary man’s need for fame. Now, if there is practically nothing you are good at, worry not. Say if you have no clue of sur and Taal and you sing only to please your senses (which too, don’t really understand music), then you can sing on Filmy’s Bathroom Singers. Okie, now for the next one, all you need is a mobile, a lot of money to waste and the courage to sit through the drama of wailing women and revengeful men.
Vote for your favourite bhai, bhabhi, saas, devar… (ugh!) and get a chance to share the stage with the parivaar.

A lot many of your acquaintances will treat you as a star after you have brushed shoulders with our very own, Parvati bhabi, oh my God! Or how about just doing something eccentric (forget self respect) on the so called serious talent shows and get famous.
Well, this is not the end of the list for fresh choices pop out each day. And who told you it is only the talented and hardworking who have a right to popularity? So, go ahead acquire the status of a celeb.

Violence is very subtle most times; and its massive manifestation, dreaded. Even in this day when she is leading many packs of men a work, calling equal shots at home and generally enjoying liberation, there could still be some violence that leaves her a victim, a silent victim. Well, she has been taught not to speak, she better not, and doesn’t. It’ll bring her shame.

Men know, we can brush past way too close to pass off as ‘accidental’, smack her in the rear, tear her, maul her, she won’t say a word. If she speaks, she’s blamed for having fanned the fire (or the desire?), leaving her victimized the second time. In any case, does anybody care how she’s affected? But doesn’t beyond violence and silence, lie a woman’s self-respect? A very vulnerable space of her. But why won’t she talk? Why does she choose suffering over an outpouring of humiliation - on the streets, at work, at home?

Sometimes we speak up, most times, we just ignore. That’s how we’ve been brought up. We have been taught to not to speak against sexual violence, for that’ll be our insult. Rather than seeing us as victims, we are told to just shut up.

Incidents of sexual harassment of unmarried women mostly go unreported, often under society’s pressures. At work, if the boss tries to take advantage of you, you can’t prove it. After marriage, if the wife is not willing for a physical relationship but is forced, it is in any case sexual harassment.

There was this woman victim who spoke up after years of abuse. Her husband would come home drunk and force her into a sexual intercourse. To avoid him, she began sleeping with her three daughters. But the man came down to tearing her clothes in front of his daughters. Helpless, the woman would go to the other room with him.

A few women are coming forward for filing complaints. But then there are some who come, but don’t want to pursue the matter. They fear that people will say she was ‘inviting’.

“Women working as domestic help at homes often become easy target. A big landlord recently raped his domestic help and to shut her up, gave her a pair of bangles, only to later accuse her of theft. We are fighting the case. But it doesn’t stop at that. We have to fight the police too. And eve-teasing is so common. Youth are unemployed, and all the time they have goes into exploring vulgar films, nudity… and all this hollows out their value-system”, says Amteshwar Kaur, High court lawyer.

“The police don’t have the sensitivity to handle cases of sexual harassment, including eve-teasing. They ask for the details of the incident at least 25 times, enough to discourage anybody,” she says.

Law’s not enough: “As regards sexual violence at workplace, there is no law.
But in one case, Vishakha Vs State of Rajasthan, the Supreme Court gave some directions that are used as guidelines for preventing sexual harassment of working women.
Thus, to some extent, protection is available, but in many departments, the complaint committee hasn’t been formed”. She does not think the law is weak; it’s the patriarchal society’s ways that hinder justice.

Amteshwar feels “there’s a lot in the books, but it’s not practical. Unless the laws are stringent, the culprits will be easily bailed out. Some part of the society is resisting this, but more sensitisation is needed. Women need to come forward; we are ready to assist them”.

Women need to stand up for themselves. There are various people ready to help them, but they’ll have to break the ice. Women need to come forward as a collective force and fight,” she says. The message is written on the wall: Women must be encouraged to speak up against sexual violence, and express their own truths. Only then will things change.

EARLY BIRDS:
….will catch only worms!

Gen next thrives on’ all things fast - food & SUVs, rave parties, bold relationships, multiple dating, and virtual connectivity. What drives these youngsters? Career, big money, snappy fame and well, loads of pleasure!  In this race for identity & yes, easy access to any information and any kind of connecting at a mouse click, innocence of the naive years is getting increasingly sacrificed. Ah well, the credit and debit of it - we get discussing.

Funds, fun, full-throttle!

A BA-II student is all set to shift to Mumbai after her graduation, for greener pastures: "I have to make big, quick bucks as soon as out of college. This city is too small for my dreams. I am planning to take admission in Subhash Ghai’s Whistling Woods Acting School & get started". Her take on ‘compromising’ on principals: "life is a series of compromises that we make to get further than others. To achieve something really big one needs to give in whatever life asks for & I am prepared for all eventualities provided I get my rewards"

Similarly, an LLB-I student quips, "our generation has easy access to almost everything right from cars, mobiles, TV, Internet to relationships & that sees many of us ‘exploring’ rather early. After experiencing it all, what is left to be achieved is money & comfort".

Analyzing the generation, Meenakshi Tanwar, a practising psychologist says, "Today, the youngsters experience almost everything right from sex, alcohol to parties early in life; earlier these were considered as adult pleasures. So that quenches their inquisitive nature and that is when they start focusing on their careers & money plays an important role in helping them make their decision. So strong is their will to be independent & fund their lifestyle themselves that they are ready to go to any length to achieve their goals and that comes easy to them because after one has experienced everything one is numbed to the experiences & that’s when the “so what” mentality crops up.

They seem to know themselves and are rather independent. Says a 1st year student: "Our generation is practical & knows where to compromise & where not to. Talk about the technicalities of making money or career choices & we are all game. Relationships matter to us but I guess the need to live a plush life, being independent & living life on our own terms makes us ruthless in our quest for a career which can earn us big bucks & fame". She admits that carving a distinct identity for themselves, separate from that of their parents or family also leads youngsters to go ahead in life without paying a thought to what they are actually losing in this race for materialistic pleasures.

Innocence Lost: Yes, that’s happening and fast! The quest for easy success & big bucks is making us selfish. But then even parents want their children to achieve success, money & fame in life and what is wrong if we want to fund our social life on our own & live a life of comfort? In search of greener pastures, we are slipping into the shoes of adults early in life & are doing everything that was done only by adults earlier. But that, in turn, is making us responsible & teaching us to grow up early. Experiencing things early in life lends us a very different perspective on its pleasures & pains".

Parents, a bit worried?
Many parents seem worried about a generation that makes its own rules. A mother of two college-going boys says: "This generation keeps its parents on toes because surprisingly it is curious about things right from childhood. I blame it on the increasing exposure to mass media". Agrees a retired lecturer, "I appreciate these smart youngsters because having seen & done everything that excites or interests them, they settle on certain rules in their life. The more the exposure the more the generation learns & gets clear on many decisions in life: But their perspective has to be clear & healthy; many times it happens that some youngsters lose track & get into the wrong things. Healthy perspectives are what is needed to guide the generation".

Brain Drain - when the trained, talented individuals go and work in countries that partake of their knowledge. Many young individuals mainly from sectors like information technology, biotechnology & bio-informatics move out of India with a view to earn a sound income.
Young brains migrate with a thought to pursue higher education. Do you think they will return to India after completing their courses? Not exactly… More than 90% will continue working there. The question arises - who finally pays for the loss to the country?
India is not behind any country as the youth here are conscious enough about their future. Youngsters are insanely career-oriented, willing to work hard for long hours and serve their country with their best. We have with us many successful and hard-working candidates in almost every field.

For over 30 years, some of our brightest youngsters have migrated to developed countries like the UK, Australia, Canada etc. Many foreign companies have also homed in on some developed cities in India, again a source of development only for these foreign countries.
The main cause of Brain Drain can be traced to personal aims - of youngsters to earn money and fame.

It’s quite obvious that a company offering us a handsome salary will be preferred. Another problem can be the ‘Problem of Governance’. This is an extremely a sad state of affairs that even at senior levels, low wages ate being paid. An economic advisor with the Finance Ministry is not getting more than Rs 20,000 pm, or so we are told. In addition to this, lack of opportunity, several conflicts on discrimination or corruption lead to the rise of brain drain in India. .

Some ambitious youngsters after pursuing higher education from abroad return to India and work for their country. With the cooperation of the government and people, one can establish an enterprise. This can be possible for the one with high skills and knowledge. Entrepreneurship is the best way to develop and achieve success. So, the government should give opportunities to the highly-skilled, extremely intelligent and experienced workers to progress in their own country.

Much higher skills are essential in order to build firms and markets that can complete the dream of global economy. The need of the hour is to set a goal to achieve 100% literacy rate as soon as possible. A fresh PhD has a global market and it is not possible to have sound investments in India without offering wages that are in the same order of magnitude as those available outside India.

We, the youngsters, let’s get together and work hard with complete cooperation for the betterment of our nation.

DHOLAK: A tradition in danger

Before we set out for the Dholki colony at Mauli Jagran in Chandigarh, my companion had warned me as to what to expect. As we approached the colony, narrow winding roads, littered with garbage and populated by malnourished, semi naked children, greeted us.

Still, as we took our seats in a small meeting room in the local madarsa and got surrounded by about 30 persons pouring their woes all at once, it came as quite an assault on the senses. More so, because we had never moved out of the municipal area of the City Beautiful.  The men folk here make dholaks of all sizes and shapes and ferry them around to sell them for peanuts.

Peanuts, because there are hardly any takers for this traditional folk instrument, which has been losing its appeal to the younger-generation musicians. So they take their products to far-off places like Kulu, Manali or wherever some fair is on. They consider themselves lucky if they are able to sell four or five pieces.

Take, for example, Ayaad Ali’s household. With six children and a wife to support, he devotes all his time to his profession. He has the dedication and the knowledge. But what he lacks is the marketing skill. "There are not many takers for dholaks these days. So I carry four or five on my shoulder and take them around. Sometimes, one or two stray offers come from the city based musical instrument shops. Mostly, I sell them in other colonies around the city where parents buy for their children," he says.

So, how much does he earn? "We manage to make both ends meet, but there is hardly any saving." Looking at his dingy two-room house and his youngest son prancing around naked, one does not have to probe more on his economic status.
The same story goes for more than 50 households in the colony. Theirs is an endless battle for survival. "The skill has been handed down from generation to generation and now this is the only profession we know. Even if we think of diversifying into other musical instruments, we neither have the skill nor the resources," says Mushir, who has been making dholaks for as long as he remembers.

Things may just change for the better for them as a voluntary organisation called the United Progressive Muslim Front has decided to take the matter into its hand. According to Arshad Khan, convener of the organisation, the first step towards uplifting their status is to get them registered as a body ”We are trying to get them soft loans under the Swarojgar Yojna of Punjab National Bank so that they can improve the quality of dholaks as well as make new instruments like Congo or drums which are more popular among the young music lovers," he says.

Besides getting them loans, what’s needed to be done on a priority basis is to get them registered as a business body, says S. M. Khan, who is the chairperson of the Muslim welfare committee.  Though things are moving in the right direction, Arshad is not very happy with the situation. "If the Department of Social Welfare takes some initiative and provides loans for these poor artisans, it will be a big relief for them. Because, that way they will have to pay only 3 per cent interest rate as against 11 per cent, which is the current bank rate," he says.

While the organisation has been helping them complete the bank formalities, another uphill task that lies ahead is improving their skills. The dholaks they are making at present are not of high quality. We need to conduct training programmes for improving their present skills and also to initiate them into the making of some new instruments.
Looking at the dholak they make in about half-an-hour, one can see that they are not up to the mark. They may not measure up to the exacting standards of the competitive market. However, the toughest part is merchandising the produce and the Front has been depending upon the administration to provide them with a platform.

"The Administration can do a lot to help them. For instance, it can sponsor their participation in melas like the one held at Surajkund so that their products reach the masses. Some of them are also good dholak players. They can be provided with an opportunity to playas accompanists of folk and classical singers at the annual Harballabh
festival in Jalandhar," he said. Santosh Kataria, who was crowned with the title of the ‘Rhythm King of Punjab’ for his initiatives to re-invent dholak and present it in the contemporary form, feels that to preserve this instrument from the onslaught of the western instruments, the administration has to put its act together. "Dholaks should be introduced at the school and college levels and special festivals on folk instruments need to ‘ be organised to make people aware of our rich heritage," he says.

Traditional though in their outlook, the Front’s endeavour has been bringing some changes in their mindset.

RAHUL DRAVID: batsman not a captain

What was most intriguing about Rahul Dravid’s decision to make himself unavailable for the India captaincy was not just the decision itself, but the timing of it.
It has come on the eve of what is possibly India’s toughest ever season of cricket - up ahead are series against Australia, Pakistan and South Africa. It can’t get tougher than this. Then again, it has come at a time when the Indian team finally seemed to have thrown off the bad memories of the Greg Chappell era and the shadow of the World Cup debacle. The one-day series in England had been lost but was a closely fought, enthralling contest; the Test series had seen a historic victory. Perhaps a combination of these two points resulted in the decision.

Who next? The run-up to the announcement of a new captain on September 18 will saw a fresh, frenzied debate. Sources said that if Tendulkar wants the job, he will get it. There is reason to believe that this time, if offered, he will accept. If he doesn’t, given the tough season ahead, India might look to the experience of Ganguly, ahead of a rookie skipper like Dhoni.

Dravid had been appointed skipper till the end of the England series and would have - as selection committee Chairman Dilip Vengsarkar said - “definitely continued if he hadn’t made this decision.” Possibly, he wanted to walk away on his own terms.
Now that the team has been brought together after being a house divided, and at a time when his invaluable services as a batsman adversely affected by captaincy - would be most needed, Dravid deemed it fit to step down.

He apparently told the BCCI brass that he couldn’t keep playing “two roles”, that of batsman and captain, successfully unless he did justice to and enjoyed both. Something he was finding increasingly difficult. .
Dravid had discussed this with board president Sharad Pawar once in England and then conveyed it to him formally here on Thursday.

The BCCI seems to have decided to accept Dravid’s decision; there is some talk of asking him to reconsider but for the most, there is a belief that it is a “personal choice that we respect.” India’s most prolific batsman of the last decade has cut a rather lonely, tense figure over the past two years, increasingly isolated by his natural reserve, the burdens of captaincy and perhaps an inability to properly communicate with his more flamboyant team-mates on several issues.

With T-20 cup in his hands, is Dhoni a right choice? For next few weeks, the hangover of South Africa might keep him there, on the top of it with Yuvraj and the history he made and the upcoming Australia’s tour of India will show whose decision was right?

Carvalho

Architect of India’s Asia Cup win

Eight time hockey Olympics champion, India failed to win a medal at the Asian games in Qatar last year. This was for the first time that India, which had produced hockey wizard Dhyan Chand, faced such an ignominy. Earlier, the Indian team came eleventh out of 12 teams in the World cup, sixth at the Commonwealth Games and last in the Champion Trophy at home. Disappointed at Indian team’s performance, the government stuck hockey off its list of sports eligible for extra funding.

Then came on the scene the "Messiah for the Indian hockey". Joaquim Carvalho, popularly called "jack" by his friends, was part of the 1984 Los Angeles Olympic squad, considered one of the strongest ever to leave the Indian shores. He was in for a surprise when the Indian Hockey Federation offered him the post of coach of the team.

It was not an easy task to put the Indian team on the rail again. A surprised Carvalho, gave lot of thought to the offer, consulted his friends and family members and finally decided to accept the IHF offer but put forward certain conditions. Besides being given a freehand, he wanted to have supporting staff of his choice and a say in selection of team members. The Federation readily accepted his terms. Losing no time, Carvalho opted for two of his closest friends and former Indian team maters, M.M. Somayya and Mervyn Fernandes, as members of his supporting staff with Mohinder Pal Singh, former ace penalty comer hitter, and Parmeshwaran as assistant coaches.

Carvalho began his training session of the Indian squad in right earnest. A strict disciplinarian, he would not compromise on anything less than the best for his side.
He started paying attention to the minutest detail which other short-term coaches ignored. They included sharpening up play and deep penetration by the forwards, more legwork than better stick work, and sturdiness in midfield and stability in defence.

Carvalho turned out to be a self-made coach who believes that players learn more and quicker on the field than through computers and whiteboards. He made his sessions short, precise and to the point. His motto has been "keep it simple and talk to the players in a language they understand". During his playing days, he recalls, how he used to "spend boring hours listening to lectures from my coaches or watching match videos and promptly forgetting them the minute I left the room".

The Indian team’s performance steadily improved since Carvalho took over the job in March this year and culminated in a massive victory in the Seventh Asia Cup Hockey Championship with a 7-2 drubbing of South Korea, world’s sixth-ranked team.
Carvalho is now credited with motivating a team blamed in the past for lacking both unity and fitness. His mantra has been "hard running, retackling and pressing".
He has now set his eyes on 2008 Olympics in Beijing and says, "Our boys have talent and potential" to excel in China. The ensuing Champions Challenge tournament in Antwerp, the fashion capital of Belgium, would be the first step in the long journey towards regaining India’s pristine hockey glory.

Since his playing days, Indian hockey has slumped to an abysmal low. However, encouraged by the thunderous success in Asia Cup, Carvalho is all set to fine tune his team for Beijing. His long experience and dedication is proving to be an asset. His name stands among the leading hockey players of the sub-continent and he was picked up to play for the World XI in 1985. He also led the Indian team in 1985-86 season and was voted the best centre half in the world. He had been a leading player in 1984 Los Angles Olympics and 1986 World Cup in London..

PREITY ZINTA
………….sure of playing Raja Ravi Varma’s muse.

Classic painter Raja Ravi Varma’s muse, Sugunabai, will be portrayed by Preity Zinta in a movie to be directed by the National-Award-winning director Shaji Karun. Just a year ago, Madhuri Dixit had been considered for the role and Ajay Devgan was to play the painter (1848-1906).

Devgan had assented but Dixit dilly-dallied. Eventually, she chose to make her comeback, after a five-year hiatus, with Yash Raj banner’s Aaja Nachle. Based in Thiruvananthapuram, Karun has an international reputation as an excellent cinematographer besides having directed Piravi which bagged over 15 awards at international film festivals. Karun’s new films (including one in Hinglish) have been disappointing. For the Ravi Varma bio-pic tentatively titled Suryamukhi, he had been scouting for the cast since the last two years. Sugunabai, a woman of Goan-Maharashtrian lineage, had posed for several mythological figures painted by Varma.
Today, all his works are priceless.

Zinta has been veering towards offbeat projects lately -like Rituparno Ghosh’s Last Lear and the new project by Jahnu Barua, Har Pal. The long search for the muse finally ends, but the actor who will portray the legendary painter is still to be announced. As it happens, she is much in the art news currently. Talk is that the Delhi-based painter and former Miss India Anjana Kuthiala will do a series of paintings of Preity Zinta in various avatars.

Apparently, Preity’s mother, Neelu had met Anjana during the artist’s exhibition in Mumbai recently. Neelu was scanning through her work, when she said, if she could have Preity’s portrait commissioned in a traditional look for their living room.

Preity Zinta will do a special photo shoot for Anjana. The portrait for her living-room will be a mix of Maharani Gayatri Devi and Preity’s look from Veer Zaara. The other canvases in the series will be inspired by women of courage like Razia Sultan and Rani of Jhansi.

What’s for desert?—— Nanhe Jaisalmer

Cast: Bobby Deol, Dwij Yadav
Direction: Samir Karnik

Really, it’s enough to blow your pressure cooker. His novella is actually awarded the International Booker. Yup, the same literary prize snagged in recent years by Kiran Desai, Arundhati Roy and the patriarch-turned-prose-genius Amitabh Bachchan in Baghbaan. What a yarn!

The new winner is Vikram Singh aka Nanhe Jaisalmer; directed and written (oh oh, what about those allegations of snitching by another writer?) by Samir Karnik. Kyun controversy ho gaya naa?

Alas, there’s nothing remotely literary or controversial about what you eventually sample in this flash-bukbuk by Vicky Singh. No zing, Vicks just catches hold of a shocked electrician at a hotel’s banquet hall to narrate his memoir. Hmm, it’s about a camel-riding Rajasthan tourist guide kiddo (Dwij Yadav) who looks as if he’d be happier at home playing Ludo.

Anyway, the 10-year-old desert boy knows a smattering of French, German, Latin and fenugreek. Snag: he’s uneducated in ka-kha-ga-gha and so goes duh-duh. This despite the militant attempts of his morose mum, didi and a heftier version of Gayatri Devi, to make him attend night school. Incidentally, this masti ki paathshala is populated by an ancient gent who goes haw-haw-haw and dear old Sharat Saxena who keeps drinking from quarter bottles of rum? Life’s glum.

But there’s a tinsel lining. Camel boy is Asia’s biggest ceiling fan of Bobby Deol the actor (played by Bobby Deol the actor). Next: you’re subjected to teasers from Abby-Mustan’s Soldier; the kid claps, whistles and generally goes berserk till Bobby D shows up in person. Gratifyingly, the bonhomie between the two is life-affirming. How wonderful- a star and a desert boy actually bond as equals! Sweet.

If only Karnik’s writing had developed this emotional aspect of an otherwise gaga screenplay. Alas, there’s something much too gratuitous about the kid giving up his gutka chewing habit, beating up a junior Gulshan Groverish bully, exhuming his fear of mice (how nice?), becoming an exemplary scholar and heavens, growing up to become a purely wooden Vatsal Seth (from the forgotten Tarzan : The Blunder Car or something). Oof. And for the last straw, there’s that cracko-wacko Booker acceptance speech.
Please!

Like it or not, the boy is even turned into a stereotyped angry child-man, what with the Deewar like humiliating tattoo emblazoned on his hand. Surely, Karnik could have stressed upon the innocence and guilelessness of the boy instead of making him a cross between Bachchan and Guddi. Oh well.

If you don’t sprint out of the auditorium, it’s only because of the emphasis placed on the need for a national literacy programme (girl children are conspicuous by their absence though).

Plus, Dwij Yadav is endearing; the child has the most fluorescent smile since Madhuri Dixit’s. Bobby Deol too, invests a glowingly warm quality to his part, almost as if he were reliving moments with his own son.

On the debit side, Binod Pradhan’s cinematography of the magnificent Jaisalmer vistas is ordinary. Himesh Reshammiya’s music is unhummable. And the direction relies far too much on swooping crane shot takings.

Bottomline: This odd enterprise is neither a children’s film nor an entertainer for spectators of all ages. It’s not worth losing your pressure cooker for its bizarre Booker.

BOMEN IRANI: Mr. Bombastic

Actor Boman Irani enjoys every ball in his court and pulls every gig to the hilt.
He may have been a potato chips seller and a professional photographer, but Boman Irani, today, is only and only an actor, inside out, upside down, in every pore of his massive being-an actor. That’s why he grins when he sees himself act out in the Tata Sky advertisement; that’s why he makes faces, winks an eye, and chuckles, “click-clack-click-clack” to photographers who shoot him; that’s why he mockingly pleads with the company manager to give him a free dish antenna.

The actor oscillates, becoming the character and Boman again. And he watches himself all the time, his every swagger in the brown cowboy boots, each sway of his jacket and jeans, his radiant face, his husky voice.
Boman is his own 70 mm. “I enjoy the process of acting. But I have to prepare (for the varied roles he plays). I come from south Bombay. I am a Parsi. I have to put on layer after layer (to create an authentic character.)” Boman’s point of reference was the comical-villainous medical college dean in Munnabhai MBBS and the unscrupulous property dealer in Khosla Ka Ghosla. Maybe he is Peter Sellers himself (the late comic actor from Britain.)

About being fearless in his choice of roles, like accepting Farhan Akhtar’s Positive, a film on AIDS that others had refused. Boman explains it in the filmi way. “I’d feel scared if I have to plunge into river from a cliff. But I will jump when I know there are policemen chasing me. Who are these policemen? My creative boredom.”

Should actors have egos? “Yes. Actors should have good egos. It’s what you think about yourself. It’s like challenging yourself.” But Boman is strangely too humble for comfort. He says his son just graduated and did odd jobs and that he dropped him in New Jersey for an MBA course (as if it’s still all middle-class). He knows it’s not. It’s just the pretension, the deception unforeseen success brings. It even makes others feel good about you, not jealous.

Which future role excites him, when asked, “You see it’s not about excitement.
You return home after work and you feel satisfied. You say: ‘Aaj kuch achha kiya!’” He says the film is Goal. He plays a football coach. The film taught him strategy, he says.

But the questions loops back to Chak De India. “People don’t make films to mobilise people. When we made Munnabhai, we didn’t think it would start Gandhigiri. Someone might have said: ‘Woh takla kaun hai? (Who’s that bald man?)’, seeing me in the film’s poster. Not any more.

“Is he turning into a director?”I don’t know.
One fine morning I might wake up and feel the audience is bored with my acting and I might turn a director. I don’t know.”

The Spinach Solutions

The Popeye Spinach. It is the chef’s best help when in need - always so easy to cook and fast. Makes a great combination with cream and butter, or with tomato. It also adds color to a buffet spread.

The only thing while cooking spinach is to watch out for a few points that many in India miss out:

1. Buy it fresh and cook it fresh.
2. Wash it in cold running water for at least 3-4 times to get the dirt out.
3. Boil it in boiling salted water for 2-3 minutes only.
4. While boiling, do not cover the lid as then the spinach will tend to go black.
5. Drain and refresh immediately in cold water to retain the colour.
6. Never put it in water if it is not boiling. And don’t forget to put the salt in water.

If you follow this method, you will get the brightest of spinach you have ever cooked. In fact this method holds true for most green veggies.

Spinach has a large nutritional value, especially when fresh, steamed, or quickly boiled. Apart from being a rich source of Iron and calcium it is a rich source of vitamins A, C, E, K, magnesium, and several vital antioxidants. Recently, opioid peptides called Rubiscolins have also been found in spinach. It is a source of folic acid, and this vitamin was first purified from spinach. To derive benefit from the folate in spinach, it is better to steam it than boil it. Boiling spinach for four minutes can halve the level of folate.

Cream of Spinach Soup
(Epinard a la Creme)

Ingredients:
1 & 1/2 cups water
300 gms cooked spinach as told to you above, (for that you will need 750gms raw spinach)
3 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3 cups milk salt and pepper to taste
200gms of cream

Method:
In a medium saucepan, combine water and spinach. Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in flour, and cook for two minutes. Gradually whisk in milk. Season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring constantly, until thick. Stir in spinach mixture.
Close the heat and stir in the cream.

Spinach Baked Chicken
(Chicken Florentine)

Ingredients:
600 gms of boiled and chopped spinach (please see the steps above for boiling spinach) · 50 gm butter
2 cloves of garlic (chopped)
Dash-dried basil
Dash-ground thyme
50 Gms flour
250 Gms cream
1kg cooked boneless chicken
250gms cream
3/4 cup chicken stock or the water in which chicken has been boiled
Salt and pepper
1 cup grated" Parmesan cheese

Preparation:
· Cook spinach as per instructions, drain well.
· In a pan, melt half butter; add minced garlic, basil, and thyme.
· Cook over medium low heat, stirring constantly, for about 5 minutes.
· Add flour and blend well.
· Add the spinach; simmer for 5 minutes, stirring constantly.
· Put spinach into the bottom of a lightly buttered casserole or baking dish.
· Cover with cooked chicken slices.
· Over medium low heat, melt remaining butter and blend in remaining flour, stirring until smooth.
· Gradually stir in 3/4 cup half-and half and 3/4 cup chicken broth;
· Continue cooking and stirring until thick.
· Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cut sliced ham in strips.
· Add to sauce and pour over chicken.
· Cover all with grated Parmesan cheese.
· Bake in a hot oven for 20 minutes, or until cheese is lightly brown.

INDULGE!

Luxury, once considered the purview of a chosen few, is no longer that inaccessible. For the discerning, it is now well within reach; in fact, for the gourmet it is right there on the kitchen shelf beside the other stuff. Long confused with style, it is now clear that luxury is really in the detail.

You will find it in the fragrance of long-grained basmati rice for your biryani; in the flavour of Kashmiri saffron soaked in warm milk for your dum recipes and in the red rice from Kerala. You will taste it in Peking Duck and you will savour it in Scottish Salmon;
you will mask it with chives and boiled eggs when biting into Sevruga on Melba toast.
You will feel it (terribly) in your effort to add that perfect pungency to your French & Italian dishes, when you pay an eye-popping 30,000 in INR, for half a kilo of black truffle. I didn’t say luxury was cheap, just more accessible!

It’s back to the details. A perfect cup of morning tea cannot be the result of the leaves alone. A ceramic pot, chemical free water for boiling and the brewing method employed, all combine to give it the superlative touch. Similarly, luxurious evenings are not just about the guest list, or the catering. They are about subdued lighting, soft music, aromatic candles, gleaming cutlery, and fine bone china on spotless linen.

Luxury is to not in the labels of fancy wine bottles, it is in the soil and climate of the region of their origin. It is in the dedication and patience of generations who have toiled for ages to provide value, instead of expense. It is in the sweetness of dessert wines. It is in the peat on the heaths around the lochs and glens of Scotland.

Luxury is in pasta made from dough, hand-kneaded with spring waters. It is in the spices that flavour Awadhi kebabs, just as it is in the cuts of meat that go into their qormas. It is reflected in the traditional vessels employed for cooking of Chettinad delicacies, just as it is sealed with dough for a dum pukht experience.

Luxury can be seen shining bright in the elaborate recipes handed down from the Mughal period. Experiments with special garnishes for royalty led to the use of real silver and gold leaf (warq). These dishes were even placed in a special manner in order to glow more under the chandeliers! Two rather unique curries from the time, Kundan Qaliya and Chandan Qaliya were a handiwork of devoted chefs. The former was prepared with goat meat and ingredients that gave the gravy a golden hue. Gold leaf and pistachios _ wrapped in gold leaf added to the glitter. The latter is a poultry dish with a creamy consistency due to the presence of cashews and almonds. This one shimmered under a garnishing of silver leaf. In the end, luxury is simply an experience of the senses.