April 14th, 2009 
Aman
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Is your child a bully at school? If the answer is yes then it is your responsibility to teach him. It is you who should tell him to behave at school or with friends. You need to teach him that any bad behaviour by his side will not be tolerated by others. You need to make your child understand that people might get hurt with his actions and it is not correct to hurt others. You child need to know that there are feelings in other kids as well and his action may cause them feel bad about him and themselves as well. All the more importantly you need to figure out why your child has turned in to bullying in social places and situations. You should teach your child how to be more appropriate in dealing with others.
Reasons for being a bully
If you find that your child is being bully with his peers and social situations, you need to ask you child. Try to find out the reason why he behaves like that. Try to listen and understand the explanation given by your child. There is a huge possibility that your child is in the wrong side and it is his mistake, however, you need to keep on listening and try to show him that you understand what his is saying and you are interested in knowing the problem he has. This may help your child express and more importantly will help him understand and he may try to change as well. Once you have done this your child would start feeling better. There is a possiblity that you child behaves bully to avoid others from making fun of his. You may also realise that the bullyness that your child has is the result of bullying. It is possible your child is defensive in saying that they are bullying someone simply because they don’t like that person, but that excuse is usually just the surface answer for the underlying reason. Try to get to the root of your child’s anger.
Why is the child violent? If your child is physically violent towards other children, try to figure out where your child learnt this type of behavior would be acceptable. Is there violence in your home? Does this child have siblings who are physically violent towards him? Does your child spend a lot of time watching violent television programmes or playing violent video games? Does your child listen to music that has violent messages and song lyrics? You have to stay on top of what is going on in your kid’s life so that you can keep violent images out of your child. If there’s violence in your home, then that is a major problem that you have to deal with as a family unit. Explain him that hitting, kicking, punching, and name-calling are intolerable behaviours. Make the child understand, tell your children to reflect on his or her actions. Ask your child how he or she would feel if someone would beat them up or make fun of them on a regular basis? Explain that it is very wrong to intentionally hurt someone physically or emotionally. Talk with them anytime when you are available for discussion. Often, a child who is a bully is a child with very low self-esteem and self-confidence. They feel that their only way to gain control in peer situations is by being a bully.
Help your child to develop social skills or encourage them to participate in sporting activities. Try to nurture your child’s talents and dreams so that he or she does not feel the need to bully.
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